Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways. ~Samuel McChord Crothers
We live in a society and culture that strives for the “perfect” life. The pressure is on us. We are to have a perfect marriage, raise perfect children, have the perfect body and live in the most perfect community in the most fabulously perfect house. Who has put these pressures on us? Is it us? Is it the fact that we see movies and somewhere deep down inside, we think that is real…or at the very least, we want it to be something attainable? Everyone feels these pressures now and then. Even if we don’t want to admit it, wouldn’t it be awesome if all those happy pictures on Facebook were really what life was like everyday?? Yes, all you Facebook people, I hate to tell you but it is a false reality!
What I find most interesting about the pursuit of perfection is that we know we can never have it, but we keep grasping for it. We will be willing to sacrifice so much for it, even our children. So many times as parents, we love our children so deeply and we want them to be successful we neglect to see their faults. This is such a dangerous place to be. It can allow your child to be raised without any accountability and feel like rules don’t apply to them….ever heard of narcissistic behavior?? One great way to raise a narcissist is to defend all their bad decisions and never confront the real issues of the heart.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, your children are not perfect. I don’t care how cute their smile is, or how they love to cuddle with you, or that they know how to give you that special look that melts your heart, they are filled to the brim with sin! They are going to lie, covet, be rude, lose their tempers…you know, do all the things that we all have done. They need you to love them enough to call them out when they are making poor choices. They need to know that what they do matters to you. They are depending on you to help guide them into loving and moral adults. If you don’t, they could lead a very lonely life since no one is going to want to be around someone who doesn’t understand why the world doesn’t revolve around their every whim.
Mommas, aren’t we glad that we had a Savior in Jesus that chose to accept us exactly how we were, but loved us enough to not leave us there? He is what we strive to be! That’s what your children need. They need us to love them enough to tell them no, to challenge them to be better people. It’s totally a more difficult way to parent. No one, not even little kids, like to have light shined on their sin, but its necessary for growth. There are going to be yelling matches, pouts, tears and possibly doors slammed, but it will all be worth it in the long run. Your children will know that you love them, even though they aren’t perfect. Plus, whenever you invest in your kiddos, there is always a positive return!
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Philippians 3:12-15