End of My Rope

“Nature didn’t need appreciation to be beautiful. It just was.” ~Scott Westerfeld, The Uglies Trilogy

Have you ever felt like you were dangling at the end of your rope?? Well, I have and more than I would like to admit. The last couple of days, I’ve been moody. Yes, I admit it, but there are some outside circumstances that have led to my moodiness. First, it’s the beginning of school. Everyone knows that the beginning of school is sheer chaos. Having to get used to the grouchiness of the early mornings, and the watching of the clock as we worry about bedtimes and homework. Getting 3 kids back on some sort of schedule after the long summer days is not easy. Actually having to make lunches and making sure the kids are sort of clean before they leave the house is a lot to do all at once! All the details like making sure this one has the fieldtrip permission slip signed and that one put on deodorant, and the other one actually ate something besides sugar can lead a sane person to the border of insanity! And the family just doesn’t understand that I do A LOT to help them!

Just today, I spent my morning rushing around looking for my youngest son’s shoes. We looked everywhere while the clock ticked on and on. I knew we were going to be late, but at the last second, voila! I found them! But, do I get a thank you? Do I get a hug? NO! Nothing! Nada! Another example is like last night after I made nachos for dinner. After all the plates are made, my daughter decided to go to a friend’s house and eat with her family. Sure, that’s fine I say between gritted teeth. Then, right when I placed the plate in front of my 6 year old, he asked me how many bites did he have to eat to be done because it smelled like puke. And, then, I won’t mention who said this, but the words, “its not my favorite dinner” were uttered. Really? People are starving all over the world, and chicken nachos aren’t your favorite?? Geez Louise! Give me a break! (Just a side note, if I really want to be honest, it was kinda disgusting…but that’s not the point!)

I find myself feeling underappreciated every once in a while. I know that the things I’m doing like grocery shopping or dirty laundry doesn’t bring in a big pay check. Oh wait, that’s funny, it doesn’t bring in ANY paycheck! I don’t get any kind of Mommy of the Year award or even a stinking gift card for that matter. But, in my eyes, it’s worthy! Trust me, if these things were not getting done, everyone would notice! But, no one seems to notice when they are getting done! Sometimes, I feel like what I do doesn’t matter to anyone, and it really starts to weigh on me. Does what I do matter? Do I even matter?

But, then I have to look at my perspective. If what I do is just about my family, well then yes, I’m going to feel let down because they are not perfect and they will never fulfill that need in me to feel fully appreciated. Now, that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be taught to be grateful and say thank you, or for that matter, learn how to do stuff by themselves. But, it does mean they can’t and weren’t meant to fill that piece in me that just needs to feel like I make a difference. But, if I make what I do about serving the Lord well, then it ALL changes. I’m not just making the bed or doing the dishes for my family, but I am ministering to them by doing it with a happy heart for the Lord. I am filling a need in those that I love, no matter how small. So when they don’t notice it all, it doesn’t really matter because I didn’t do it for them anyway. I did it to please my God, and that makes what I do have so much more purpose.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” Colossians 3:23

1 Comment

  1. Susan on September 23, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    YES!

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